My father is a hard man to follow. First of all I am a "junior," so that is something to live up to. And then there's the way my dad always walked so fast down the fairway that I had to nearly run to keep up. At home he could have afforded to hire people to do work for us, but somehow we always had to lay our own brick patio or build our own tool shed, or, oh, did I mention that he built his own house in 1959 from a $5 How to Build Your Own House book? He just stopped mowing his own half-acre yard. He's 78. I am not supposed to know, so don't tell him I do when you see him here next, and tell him ,as you always do, how much I look like him and how you can see what I will look like in 30 years. I can only hope.

Following my father meant doing things the hard way but the good way, taking on the challenge. When he sets his mind to something, you may as well just figure it's going to be that way. I think about that when I see what Jesus' disciples went through trying to follow him. Jesus set his face toward Jerusalem, Luke tells us. Up until now Jesus has had some measure of success. He has gathered crowds and been hailed as the hoped-for One. But now some of those early rejections-like from the one in his hometown and from certain religious leaders in the countryside-are about to escalate. He's going to the big city, and Luke makes no bones about Jesus knowing what he's in for. When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem. True north for Jesus was due south to Jerusalem. He set his face. The phrase makes me picture those carved figures of intrepid women fastened like amulets to the bows of old warships, faces fixed for battle.

So Jesus sends messengers ahead to a village in Samaria. I can imagine the scene. They traipse through the village and try to get some sympathy for Jesus' cause. They hope the Samaritans will welcome Jesus, because after all, he is a friend to outcasts like them. Jesus is on their side, too. Just verses after this we get the parable of the Good Samaritan. It was a hard sell, nonetheless. Samaritans and Jews were kin, but enemies, too. Samaritans were Jews who had been "left behind" when Israel was exiled to Babylon in 587 BC. They were uneducated, unthreatening, and therefore unworthy of deportation. With no one much left in the land, they intermarried with non-Jews. When the exiled Jews returned, they sneered at Samaritans as half-breed infidels. Samaritans held fast to the Torah, however, and accused the Jews of being-well, liberals, I guess, is as good as any cuss word these days. They each thought the other was a traitor to the true God. Each had set up criteria for what made one faithful to God or unfaithful.

Sounds like Baptists, don't you know?! We just returned from the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship meeting in Birmingham. The biggest media splash was our doubling of support for the Baptist World Alliance. Southern Baptists two weeks ago withdrew all funding from BWA because of a perceived leftward drift. Of course, when you are racing to the right at the speed of light, anyone standing still is perceived as drifting left. But I digress. It's been tempting to ask Jesus if we could settle this thing with a little fire from heaven to consume them. They have rejected and slandered and undermined our friends and us. We feel justified. Yet to be preoccupied with what others do to us is to be guilty of what the disciples tried to do in getting Jesus' permission to retaliate against the Samaritans for not welcoming them. It's getting caught in the same trap and missing the way of Jesus.

I got an e-mail from a Muslim this week. "An Indian, a cowboy, and a Muslim are talking. The Muslim goes on talking and talking. The cowboy gets tired of him, pulls his hat down, sticks a toothpick in his mouth, and naps. When the Muslim stops talking, the Indian laments: Once we many, now we few. The Muslim brags: Once we were few, now we are many. Why do you think that is? The cowboy perks up, takes the toothpick out of his mouth, and says, We ain't played cowboys and Muslims yet!"

Jesus takes no delight in playing cowboys and anything. He strictly forbids us to do violence to our enemies on the way to following him. Jesus does not win by making others lose. Jesus does not add to his flock by subtracting from another. Jesus will not allow his followers to back into heaven, guns blazing. You cannot enter the kingdom of God butt first. That would mean you have set your face backward instead of forward, toward the past instead of the future.

After 9/11 a grief-stricken couple who had just lost their beloved adult daughter in the terrorist attack were interviewed by a TV reporter. No one knew what to say in those days following the attack. We were all grasping for words. He ended the interview clumsily: Well, er, I guess you will be going to your place of worship this weekend to receive some consolation? The mother replied, No. You see, our religion teaches that we ought to forgive our enemies. And we are just not ready for that right now.

Neither were James and John, fresh off their rejection by the Samaritans. But neither was Jesus, fresh off being scourged and mocked and having nails hammered through his hands and feet. Yet from the cross he didn't say, I know I ought to forgive, but I am not ready for that yet. He didn't say, But first let me get even. Let me call down fire on these ingrates. He said, `Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.'

We are never satisfied getting even with our enemies. We always want what James and John wanted: we want them to get the worst of it. But all that does is keep us all wrapped up in a cycle of violence that never ends. To forgive means to let go or to leave alone. Most of us want to keep a leash on those who have hurt or rejected or done us harm. We don't want to release them to the judgment of God. The problem is that that leash has two ends. As long as you hold on to bitterness and vengeful feelings, they have a hold on you, too. It's like running with a Labrador retriever: who's following whom?

Jesus wants us to follow him-no ifs, ands, or buts. He wants us to set our faces forward with him, and to do it without excuses or reservations. There are no "buts" or "but firsts" in Christian discipleship. When you say but, you disqualify everything you said before it. When you throw in a but first, you throw doubt on whatever you first professed. I want straight A's, but I don't want to study. I love you with all my heart, but first I need to make sure of some things. Sure.

So a man comes up to Jesus and says, I will follow you anywhere. That's all he says, but I can see him in my mind's eye, walking toward Jesus butt first. Jesus can smell a but coming a mile away. Jesus tells him he's the kind of guy who doesn't settle in one place. Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head. He's not a drifter or a grifter. He knows where he is going, and those that want to go with him need to understand that the kind of life their love for him will lead to may not include a two-story Tudor in a gated community. You'll have the adventure of your life, following him. It will be romantic and passionate and full of surprises, because Jesus is full of love, and love is full of romance and passion and surprise. But you can't be hankering for security all the time. The only security you need in this life is the love of Christ. The relationship lets you risk the adventure. So no "but first" to take care of the homestead.

Another wants to follow Jesus, but first he wants to bury his father. Again Jesus seems a hard man to follow. How about a little sympathy, Lord? But we have lately learned that the burial ritual the man was referring to was probably like this: A family had a tomb that had one or two limestone slabs to lay out a body on. It would decompose for a period, after which time the bones would be gathered up and placed in a small box called an ossuary and stored along with the bone boxes of Grandma Miriam, Uncle Levi, Cousin Jacob and whoever else. Jesus was just saying that the whole thing was too much death when life is right out there in front of you. No but first to care for the dead when care for the living is a live option. So if you think your divorce disqualifies you from serving the Lord, maybe you have set your face on things that are dead to God. If you think God wants you to risk your heart for the sake of loving or serving the world, please check your but firsts at the door.

The same goes for the poor guy who just wants to say goodbye to his family before gallivanting off with the man in the sandals and his band of brothers. All Jesus wants of us to give ourselves up to him. Follow him with reckless abandon. Don't spend your life playing it safe when life is found not in a place but a person, not in possessing things but in being possessed by love.

Reverend John Kinney is also Dr. John Kinney and also Dean John Kinney of Virginia Union University. This African-American preacher-scholar-educator is an accomplished man in his own right, but his favorite thing to do is to visit his son Aaron in Nashville. Aaron plays tight end for the Tennessee Titans. So when the daddy visits the son, it's the son that opens the doors for the daddy, not the other way round. John likes how it happens that when he goes to restaurant and can't get a table, someone will say to the maitre d', Don't you know that is Aaron Kinney's father? Suddenly a table opens. Or a hotel that is fully booked. Somehow a room becomes available.

When John first visited the Titans' training facility, he was amazed at the security: guards all over the place, and one of those voice-recognition automatic doors. He watched his son approach the doors and say, Aaron Kinney. The doors opened to a friendly computer voice welcome. Then he turned and watched as his father said, John Kinney. "Access denied," the unfriendly voice replied. So Aaron found a guard and told them to let his father in. He's with me, Aaron said. John was ushered right through. John says that now when he goes, he knows to stay close to his son. He follows right behind him, so that when the doors open, the two of them go in together. Reverend-Doctor-Dean Kinney doesn't have the credentials to go where the son wants to take him without following the son.

Likewise you and I have to stay close to the Son of God if we want to get anywhere past the past. You can't go on your own terms or in your own time. Jesus will not authorize your retaliation against those who reject you or him. He will not abide your worry over your pardoned past or the pressing present that keeps you from facing forward and following him. The kingdom of God awaits. The Son of God leads. What are you waiting for? Remember, you cannot enter the kingdom of God . but first!